Mr. Kaspersky, looming large. (Photo: flickr.com/cebitaus

Let's say, hypothetically, that you are the founder and CEO of a major antivirus company, and you've a history of close ties to Russia's intelligence community, and you're being profiled by a writer from Wired. What's the shadiest thing you can imagine saying? Does it perhaps sound anything like this?

“It’s too much freedom there,” [Eugene] Kaspersky says, referring to sites like Facebook. “Freedom is good. But the bad guys—they can abuse this freedom to manipulate public opinion.”

God willing, this line was delivered in a whispery Batman voice. We're not even entirely sure what context would make this sound less ominous.

And if that's not cloak and dagger enough for you, consider what one "prominent member of Russia’s technology sector" told Wired: “A substantial part of his company is intimately involved with the FSB.”

Is all of Russia just literally a John le Carré novel?

But perhaps the single greatest thing in this entire crackerjack read is a throwaway line linking to this video, which is a commercial featuring Mr. Kaspersky and action star Jackie Chan.

Seriously.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0VydJ8LYyhM&feature=player_embedded