The Way We Live Now

People Care More About Keeping Their Cell Phones Charged Than Their Personal Hygiene

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 People Care More About Keeping Their Cell Phones Charged Than Their Personal Hygiene

Mr. Stallman, snacking on foot stuff. (Photo:

Good news if you’re Richard Stallman! According to a travel survey conducted by Intel, Americans are so obsessed with keeping their devices tethered to their fast-typing fingers that they’re eschewing the comforts and hygiene of modern life just to keep them charged. We call this the “Stallman Quotient”: The more you embrace technology over showering, the higher your Stallman Quotient grows. The maximum Stallman Quotient score is 10, otherwise known as “eating something from your foot while being filmed during a lecture.”

According to Reuters, 46 percent of people score a high ranking on the Stallman scale, admitting that “they had compromised personal comfort or hygiene to keep the devices charged.” Additionally, “More than three-quarters of people questioned thought losing their device would be more stressful than misplacing their wedding ring, and 64 percent said they would sacrifice things such as toiletries to make room in luggage for their laptops or tablets.”

Who needs deodorant when you can pass the time playing Angry Birds?

In related news, we’re all really gross.

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