Helpful Suggestions

7 (Semi-Serious) Legitimate Use Cases for the New Top-Level Domains

In advance of ICANN's big reveal, we outline what we're willing to allow.
579761138 2384373a41 7 (Semi Serious) Legitimate Use Cases for the New Top Level Domains

Consider yourself relocated, kitty. (Photo: Flickr.com/deerwooduk)

With ICANN set to reveal new top-level domains any moment now, the number of available Internet addresses is about to balloon. Various organizations around the world have applied to register more than 1,900. A fair number of those are brands staking claim to their own names, like Google staking out .youtube. But companies like Donuts have applied to administer generic names like .bank and .baby, meaning businesses and individuals can soon register for the digital equivalent of  vanity license plates. It’s going to get messy and it’s going to get confusing, fast.

However, there are several specific top-level domain purchases we recommend:

1. LILWAYNE.MONEY

As the ringleader of Young Money, Lil Wayne obviously needs LilWayne.money. While he’s at it, he should register similar sites for each of his Cash Money Records label mates. Quick, before another crew beats you to it.

2. GMAIL.DOWN

Single-serve sites for every popular Internet service answering the question, “Is X Down?” at .down. Let’s start with Gmail.

3. ALANMOORE.WIZARD

Watchmen auteur and comics legend Alan Moore should create a personal website on .wizard. We would also accept AlanMoore.occult and AlanMooreHates.Hollywood.

4. PIRATEBAY.HOLLYWOOD

Speaking of the movie business, the Pirate Bay needs a new home at .Hollywood, wouldn’t you say? Ditto every torrent site in existence.

5. PATENT.TROLL

Operation Name and Shame begins now.

6. GOP.SEX

Helpfully aggregating all your Republican sex scandal news in one convenient location.

7. EVERYTHING.CUTE

Let’s migrate every puppy cam and laughing baby and cat meme to .cute. It’ll be an orgy of adorable, a gated community of cute.

Follow Kelly Faircloth on Twitter or via RSS. kfaircloth@observer.com