(nuts.com)

"Despite high hopes and careful planning, the Newark Nut Company’s Web traffic took a dive after moving to Nuts.com," writes the Onion the New York Times. Aw, nuts!

Several experts chalk this traffic decline up to a host of variables--Google having to reassess the site, the fact that the company's head Jeffrey Braverman should have simply redirected nuts.com to its original nutsonline.com--but the immature among us know the real answer: The only people typing nuts.com into a computer are 13-year-old boys trying to impress their friends and piss off their parents.