If our calculations are correct, it took Yelp seven years to get the McSweeney’s treatment. The San Francisco company finally made its debut in 2011 with Alex Buckey’s brilliant, “Ernest Hemingway, Yelper.” As more evidence of the swelling Kickstarter zeitgeist, it only took the New York startup three years, premiering today with John Flowers’s likewise inspired, “Welcome to the Official Kickstarter Page for Greece!”
“Greece is a small country in the south of Europe known for inventing democracy and western philosophy and for its national motto, ‘Release the Kraken!'” begins the mock-pitch to raise $18.6 billion by March 20th.
Like a real Kickstarter campaign, the piece goes into detail about the goodies available for different donors, naming the levels after famous Greek-Americans like Olympia Dukakis, Michael Chikilis, Gabrielle Carteris (Andrea from “90210”) and Alex Karras (the former Detroit Lion who will always hold a place in Betabeat’s heart for his turn as George Papadapolis on “Webster”).
But why stop there? Sure, Kickstarter prohibits raising money for “charity or causes,” but does “Saving Europe” really fit either of those categories? How about someone go the whole nine and make a touching video and starting taking donations. At the very least, it will something amusing to watch while the economy burns. C’mon Internet, let’s get kraken. (Sorry.)