2011: WTF?

GRPN vs. BDNK (Or: The Battle Between My Fat, Pale Jewish Ass and Groupon)

Everything you should understand about Tech IPO's going into 2012 fittingly involves our pale, large ass and the effort we put into decreasing it.

THE PART WHERE WE WRAP THIS ALL UP IN A NICE, NEAT AND WORRISOME PACKAGE

Well, first off, I should probably do something other than run on a treadmill to Katy Perry for an hour and dry heaving in a gross pile of sweat for the following fifteen minutes. Probably not the best fitness routine. But really, that euphoria regarding tech investment (or any kind of investment) is usually a dangerous situation made worse by the few people who can win against the bunch of people who lose, among whom are the entire startup sector (which we like!) and general investing public (which we also like).

In the same way logic should dictate that you would never give a mortgage to someone who can’t pay it off, logic should dictate that the “market forces” of nature would have spanked everyone enough already to ward off continuing superfluous tech and startup I.P.O. hype in the face of all these other failures.

But we don’t live in a normal world where logic dictates the way things happen.

Instead, investment banks helped create a demand for housing loans to fail, just as investment banks help hype up and then shepherd startups and tech companies through the I.P.O. process just long enough to make a quick buck on them, shortly before feeding them to the starving Sarlacc Pit that have become what are now regular “market forces” to be devoured.

2011 was a great year for America’s technology sector. Say what you will about Steve Jobs, the man helped push forward America’s reputation for the kind of innovation that makes the world better, through product, through economic stimulation, and through the technological advancement of our society at-large. Plenty of other companies and startups did, too, and they’re poised to continue doing so through 2012, in an era when this country needs to cultivate great innovators to succeed on a long-term scale. Unfortunately, great innovators—like everyone else—are subject to greed, the bewilderment that prospects of unmitigated wealth entail, and the bad habit of believing one’s own bullshit.

Let’s hope 2012 has less of that. As the dumb, folksy idiom goes: ‘Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.’

But given recent headlines…

Robust 2012 Tech IPO Scene Is Likely [CFO World]
Banks Face Off For Facebook IPO [WSJ]
Facebook Poised to Lead Biggest U.S. Internet IPO Year Since ’99 [Businessweek]

…the ‘best’ doesn’t really seem all that likely.

fkamer@observer.com | @weareyourfek

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Comments

  1. Hunter Peress says:

    Groupon is a company built around a solid business model, it is fundamentally a company that helps average people save money. This is a much more solid business model than linked in. 

  2. I would like to comment about the zynga public offering . New issues are almost always bad investments the vast majority of these stocks are way over priced on purpose. I always recommend that investors stay away from these stocks.