So, we at Betabeat have been waiting to roll this one out for a while. Seeing as how the business year is coming to a close today—and also, like, nobody’s around to read what you’re about to read—there’s no time quite like the present to disclose the following:
My fat, white Jewish ass has been engaged in a battle with Groupon for about three months now.
June 2, 2011: Groupon plans to take their company public by putting themselves on NASDAQ in what’s commonly known as an I.P.O. or “initial public offering.” The company is valued at $30 billion. It’s a controversial I.P.O. for a number of reasons. To name a few? It’s a company that has nearly limitless hype, a CEO who can’t keep his mouth shut, a self-administered transparency about their lack of transparency, an oddly hypnotic mascot, a bunch of investment banks salivating over the prospect of running the company’s I.P.O. (as investment banks salivating over anything is inherently worrisome), and a shit-ton of red flags often drowned out by bullish hype. We may have some complicated feelings about it.
November 2, 2011: Our complicated feelings manifest themselves in an infographic that took three hours too long to make.
November 3, 2011: Groupon prices their IPO at $20. We may have some pessimistic feelings about how well this will go.
November 4, 2011: GRPN shares open on the first day of trading at $26.11, up 30.5% from their original I.P.O. price. Four days later, Dealbook’s Evelyn M. Rusli writes about the “windfall” investment banks made on Groupon. A week after trading on NASDAQ, and Groupon is at $24.25, still up 21 percent from their original I.P.O. pricing.
So, we’re now at the point where some of us have spent far more time considering Groupon than the average, healthy person should. Groupon has just started their sixth day on NASDAQ. It’s a Monday afternoon. I am still pessimistic about GRPN, which is still “up.” And as it want to happen at this point, GRPN gets discussed in the Betabeat Skype room.
In this particular discussion, I propose that my fat, Jewish ass is a better investment than GRPN: