Opening Line:

"'WHO wants a tequila shot?' Randi Zuckerberg shouted over the thump of 'Baby One More Time,' Britney Spears’s breakup anthem."

Right before the first break:

“Every article written about me now refers to me as Randi Zuckerberg, Mark’s sister,” she said. “Maybe one day that won’t be what people say about me.”

Home Stretch:

Mr. Zuckerberg declined to be interviewed for this article even after his sister sent him an e-mail asking him to. Ms. Zuckerberg said she got an e-mail from the company’s spokesman, Elliot Schrage, in reply. In a statement issued through Mr. Schrage, her brother said, in part: “Randi has always been creative and we put her talent to good use at Facebook.” He added, “Now that she’s on her own stage, I know she’ll be recognized even more for making the world more open and connected.”

Emphasis ours! Not exactly a vote of confidence in one's sister, is it? You can imagine where it goes from there.

Noted are Randi's wild ambitions (a talk show, a Broadway gig, philanthropy) and hard-partying ways, but mentions of what she's actually done besides create publicity messes for her younger brother to clean up are few and far between. One must wonder: For someone so invested in a career in marketing, does she have what it takes to thrive on her own, given that she basically set herself up for the notoriously passive-aggressive New York Times Styles profile? Hell, even the picture is a shot of her from behind, the vantage point at which the Times seems best-equipped to discuss her.

And yet, it's hard to feel bad for Randi Zuckerberg, here. For one thing, as another Observer editor put it, "She's Mark Zuckerberg's sister."

For another, she keeps feeding the beast:

All of which is simply to say what the Times never quite managed to over three pages: "Good luck with that marketing career."

fkamer@observer.com | @weareyourfek