shameless rumormongering

Rumors & Acquisitions: Skills And a Gawker-TechCrunch Blog Fight

tumbeasts Rumors & Acquisitions: Skills And a Gawker TechCrunch Blog FightPIVOTS AND PYRES. Pivots are in vogue, and recently-pivoted SkillSlate is taking full advantage of the hype with a self-branded Pivot PartyThe start-up began as a directory-like site for local businesses and entrepreneurs to build a personalized profile that could put them in front of new customers; it was also meant to capture people like personal chefs who would post specific offers for customers to browse. Oops, no one used it because small businesses don’t check their email, and SkillSlate had burned through half its cash. Pivot time!

SkillSlate is now more like a Zaarly-esque, real-time classifieds where customers posts requests and service providers respond. Which is how the start-up nabbed a fire dancer for tonight’s fete. Founder Bartek Ringwelski posted an ad on the site: “I’m throwing a party for 100+ people for our startup on Tuesday, June 26th, and I really want to invite someone different for entertainment. I’m looking for someone who is an expert sword swallower, juggler, magician or has some other amazing talent. In total, I’m looking for 10-15 minutes of you doing your talent. Please provide some background on yourself and, if possible, a video of you doing your thing,” he wrote. He passed on the ventriloquist ($120), the ribbon dancer ($250), and the magician who can swallow razor blades and needles but no sword ($200).

But within 48 hours, he had a fire performer: Matthew Pagliaro, who we see is being paid $75 to do two five-minute performances with fire poi, which are flammable balls on chains. Good thing the pivot party is at the DCTV Firehouse, LOL LOL. 7:30 p.m.

TECH NEWS IS BORING. Adrian Chen’s meta-post about tech blogging and how boring it is and how sleepy it makes him to read infamous Apple fanboy MG Siegler’s thoughts about Facebook’s iPad app–”Make it stop! This is the most boring shit ever”–and what it will look like and when it will come out is a hit! Almost 8,000 views in two hours and a pick-up from TechmemeDave Winer and Slate’s Farhad Manjoo.

Mr. Siegler responded on Tumblr with a post titled, “Rhymes With Douchebag.”

Nevermind that Chen is complaining about tech news not really being “news” while writing a story that is even less “news” in the name of pageviews. We all do that sometimes.

This was a legitimate tech story.

And it certainly wasn’t tech news about tech news about tech news about tech news.

TUMBLR PUTS THE BEASTS TO SLEEP. Tumblr has stopped using The Oatmeal’s hand-drawn Tumbeasts but continues to periodically crash. “Tumblr still going down,” Matt Inman writes. “Unfortunately, they stopped using the mascots I drew for them.” However, Mr. Inman is giving the tumbeasts away. “A good Tumbeast should never go to waste,” he declared, and is making them available for any start-up with an unstable website to download and use. Swag. We’ll tell Observer.com.

MORE SKILLS YOU CAN USE. Like how to do email… There are two spots left in Dave Tisch’s How to Communicate With Investors class, happening tomorrow and reprising in August. “This session will include The Basics: rules for getting the best attention for investors and customers, followed by Q&A,” Mr. Tisch says. “The focus will be on emailing, social networking, basics of engagement and how to do it better.” There are 44 pupils of Tisch, and the $660 goes to HackNY. Do it do it, says TechStars ex-hackstar Tal Safran. “Tisch’s advice on this topic is invaluable and the proceeds will go to an amazing cause. Guaranteed to be entertaining as well.” We’re hoping for a question on how to use ellipses…

VC-SIGHTER. A Dennis Crowley check-in that mentioned spotting Fred Wilson while meeting with Albert Wegener and Charlie O’Donnell at The Coffee Shop just might inspire a mobile app: “Fred Wilson spotting, complete with leaderboard on most sighted places, user with the most sightings, most sighted guests he is seen with, industry vertcals of people he is meeting with the most B2B, B2C, Cloud, etc. Lol,” suggested consultant Dean Collins, who yesterday heckled Dan Frommer at a panel over the blogger’s unflattering view of QR codes.

FUCK FACEBOOK. Facebook is stupid.

Follow Adrianne Jeffries on Twitter or via RSS. ajeffries@observer.com