If you get over to Park Slope right now, you will see a giant purple mailbox at the corner of Eighth Avenue and 9th Street. You will be tempted to flick a smoldering ciggy butt inside. Don’t do it! This is your shot at the big time.
Instead, step gingerly up to the thing and say something. The mailbox will actually talk back to you. There’s a dude inside, with a camera. Now discard every last scrap of dignity you have—what did dignity ever do for you?—draw in a giant gulp of air, and let out the loudest, most ridiculous “Yah-hooooooooooo-oooo!!!” you can muster.
Don’t forget to sign the photo release.
Congratulations, you are a dork.
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