LOLOL

Hello M’Lady: Hilarious Amy Schumer Video Skewers ‘Friendzoned’ Guys

"You can't win. But the app does send you a warning text when he angrily turns on you." (Screengrab via YouTube.)

Reddit functions as many things — a cradle for Internet memes, a hub for horrifying tales of bodily functions, a much-needed platform for Lil Jon.

But one of the most nefarious ways Reddit has influenced our culture is by providing a platform for men who believe they’ve been “friendzoned.”

What is the friendzone? It’s a pretend place that exists only in the imaginations of oft-rejected heterosexual men — and on a popular subreddit. Read More

Investments

Squarespace Takes $40 Million in Growth Equity

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Website-building service Squarespace announced yesterday that they’ve accepted $40 million in Series B funding from General Atlantic.

Squarespace has been growing rapidly, and needs the cash on hand to sustain that growth. With more and more users, and now 285 employees, they could use the $40 million for basic business needs like more real estate for their New York City offices.

Competitors in the website services field have been raising enormous sums of money and going public, leaving Squarespace with some catching up to do. Read More

Delivery From Inconvenience

Swedish Student Invents Hand Scanner to Replace Credit Cards

A shopper uses the system. (Screengrab via YouTube)

In case paying with the swipe of a credit card wasn’t convenient enough for you, a Swedish student at Lund University has devised a way to pay for goods using a vein map of your hand.

Fredrik Leifland’s system uses vein-scanning technology that already existed, according to a prepared release. He merely connected the scanning terminals, banks, stores and customers to create a new system. Read More

ATwitter

#PesachProblems: Jews Are Live-Tweeting Their Passover Seders

(Getty)

There was a time when Passover meant putting down our iPhones and celebrating our ancient Jewish heritage over Bubbie’s classic matzah balls.

But it’s 2014, and technology has started making a comeback at the Seder table. JDate made dating profiles for Moses and the Pharaoh. The famed Bronfman Haggadah debuted in app form. So it shouldn’t come as much of a shock that hordes of Twitterers are using #SederUpdates to live-tweet their Passover dinners. Read More

All Covered With Vines

Simply Sylvio, Evan Hilton Win Tribeca Film Awards For Vine

(Screengrab via Vine)

It’s 2014, and that means you can get an award from Robert DeNiro’s prestigious Tribeca Film Festival for making a Vine — and you could end up making money. Technology, huh?

Five Viners are being recognized by TFF today in the second annual #6SecFilms contest for their outstanding work in the looping six-second-film genre. Accolades are being presented in the categories of drama (yes, drama!), comedy, animation and genre. There’s also a #6SecFilms Audience Award. Read More

Hyperlocal

Gothamist Shutters Its Austin Counterpart Citing Low Nat’l Ad Interest

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Gothamist National Media, the hyperlocal news empire based in New York City, announced yesterday that their hyper-local site Austinist is officially closed.

“As an independent, bootstrapped media company, we have to run lean and mean,” Jake Dobkin, the founder and publisher of Gothamist, told Betabeat. “That means pruning the tree each year to keep it healthy and strong, and that’s what led to the Austinist decision.” Read More